in my own way

1st attempt at a dream
it was totally awesome
part of me didnt think i could make it
but i did
all because every other part of me believed

i expected alot from myself
yet i didnt dare expect too much
but deep down within me
i wanted it that much

an only opportunity presented infront
it's do and die
or do and survive
i must survive. i had to.
i gave it all i got
n i survived
not beautifully
but it reached my basic expectations
for that, i affirm myself
more room to improve. to grow.

'what if i do not perform?'
'what if they do not accept me?'
'what if i screw up big time?'
what if. what if. what if.
life is full of lousy what ifs.
'what if i do perform?'
'what if they do accept me?'
'what if im excellent?'
what if. what if. what if.
yet life is also full of powerful what ifs.
which will you choose to say?
what outcome do you want to have?

i said all the negative ones.
i said all the powerful ones too.
it's a conscious effort
that i felt paid off well.

my negative internal critic like a spoilt radio
going on and on
my positive speakers blasting powerful beats
fighting endlessly
battle it will be
beautiful it will end

in my own beautiful way.

***